I don’t know what I’m going through, same old shit I guess.
I hate everything about me lately, it seems like I am slipping on every front.
Maybe it’s some sort of midlife crisis, maybe I’ll just never kick the depression, I don’t know, but it really sucks.
I had a lot of fun out Friday night. That being said, I should probably stop drinking all together.
I need to start cooking again. And cleaning, I really need to get things clean and keep them that way. And exercising, I know for sure that would make me feel better.
Mannequin by moonlight.
I FINALLY started working on my costume for Comic Con. (Starts Thursday!)
I tried fabric dye on the swimsuit, but then I got frustrated and just went with spray paint. No idea if that will work haha. I ran out though. Oh well, it’s good enough. I’m adding a skirt and leaves and rhinestones, so that should be okay. Provided it doesn’t crack up when I stretch it.
Anyone got a green swimsuit that will be flattering on me that they can get to me by tomorrow?
This will not be on my tombstone.
I’m taking the ex to Comic Con with us. Probably not the wisest choice, but it is what it is. He took me to dinner Sat night.
I’m not quite sure how to break it to him that he’s been friend-zoned. I think he expects us to get together again, and I can’t do that. We have been on text/talking terms for two weeks and I already want to stab him. (Interesting side note: the men in his family have been stabbed/near stabbed at an alarming rate)
I hope Chis (the man who looks like Jeffery Dean Morgan & Gerrard Butler) calls me and we actually do go to the movies. Not so much because his smile is so sexy, but I don’t remember having such a great time with a stranger before and I kinda wanna know if that was a fluke or not. Either way I am glad I met him when I did, I may have been in danger of ending up back in the old relationship, which turned out to be pretty toxic.
I am in love with the new doctor. IN LOVE.
My poison Ivy wig came and so did I cause god it’s sexy.
My daughters text said:
You should wear that daily.such class.much wig
Damn kid, I just might! FYI, these sexy curls go all the way to my ass. Squeeeeee.
I have a date with my ex on Sat. So that should be interesting. He’s coming to Comic Con with us. I haven’t broke that to Lex yet. No telling how she will take it. They were two evil peas in the pod together, but she hates him since the break up. Not going to be a great convo.
That’s how I feel about life these days
I’m drowning in bills, I’m drowning in messes, I’m drowning in not enough time in the day.
I need a row boat fast.
The amount of days that I’m perfectly fine and then crying for reasons completely out of my control are, well, out of control.
I’m just not sure how to possibly get it all together.
I miss Ryan. He was right to get the fuck out, I can’t help myself, I understand why it finally made him so angry. I think it will be a really long time until I am ready to date again, which doesn’t change the fact that I want to date. I’m not talking about sex either. I can get that from at least 6 men with a phone call, but that’s not what I want. I don’t put out anymore unless it really means something to me.
Uggggg. I’m a fucking basket case a million ways to Sunday.
Also I have a fucking extra gold pass to Comiccon and nobody to use it with. I imagine I can sell it, but I wish someone, anyone, wanted to go with me.